Burning Candle – Seeking for True Love


Mt._Rosalie_paintingIt was one of those usual summers back in Greece. In that beautiful island actually. The magic island that is how she used to call it. It was not the place that someone expected to be. Especially for holidays. It has nothing to do with the rest islands in Greece that they are famous for their beaches, sea, even the epic parties. Nothing like that. Actually it was a very quiet island. With only a few residents and a few dozens of tourists every day. It was a bit busy and noisy during the daytime, but in the night, it was the closest thing that she could think of in a cemetery. The only thing you could hear was the barking of a few dogs, or the cars from the other side that were running to reach the crazy rhythms of their own life. Or the other’s life. She couldn’t know.

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In that little island she used to go every single summer since she could recall herself. As I mentioned before it was no ordinary island. It was not surrounded by sea, it was in the middle of a lake. Somewhere between the mountains. If you asked someone about this island, some would say to you that it is a lovely place you should visit. Others, would claim that the island is cursed. Many stories indeed surrounded this island. But she didn’t care. It was her shelter, a place that she could relax, not only from the daily exhausting life she used to follow. But from everyone. Many times she was away even from herself. Other times she used to talk to herself. Making a dialogue. She used to argue a lot. Oh, and when she argued, she was getting stubborn and was not listening to anyone. Not even to herself.

 
two heart tangoHer life was something more than good. Her friends were jealous of her, and used to say that there is nothing to complain about in her life, that everything was perfect. She used to believe them and convince herself that everything that was just perfect. But then why did she use to drink and smoke so much, why she enjoyed the most the quiet nights of the summer all alone that only her island could offer her?

 
All her goals until now were achieved, her personal life was stable, and her finances were more than good. So? There was still something missing. That is how she felt. To tell the truth, it was not that there was just something missing. She usually felt that there was no meaning in anything that she used to do until now. It was that feeling that, she was always missing something, always. It was like she could not find the true meaning of anything although she was feeling that lied right in front of her. It was like she was blind. Or she was blind because she wanted to be.

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Another day was getting to an end in the little island and the sun was setting slowly behind the mountains. She took another cigarette and lit it. Suddenly everything went black. She was in the total darkness. She didn’t mind though. She took her things, a pen and her notebook and started to walk towards her home. Home. That little poor house in that island was the only place that she could call home. Not her apartment in that busy town nor her fiancé‘s one.

 
03afc7bfda41ccf61e45a1aaa0009e7aBy the time she got into her home, she went towards the cupboard and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. She never liked it but it was the only thing that could make her numb with just a couple of glasses. But she didn’t even needed a glass. She sat down on the sofa opposite of the livings room mirror. And another conversation with herself started. In the darkness of the night and with only the light of the candles to pour some light into her devastated soul.

 
With the first morning light, she stood up from the sofa. She did not like anymore the girl that was looking her straight in the eyes. She didn’t like her long black hair anymore or her skinny body. But most of all she didn’t like the look in her eyes. A look that only the animals who are about to die have. She went upstairs for a quick shower, and she decided to cut her hair. She did not feel sorry while she was seeing her black hair falling on the floor. She felt a little bit better. Afterwards she dressed up and in a hurry she got out of the house for a walk in the edge of the island where she was close to the water of the lake. The beauty all around her could not be described in words. It was a cloudy day but everything seemed so beautiful to her eyes. He took her cell phone and started clearing out her life. She could now tell that she wasn’t blind.

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The beauty of life conclude that exists within us. In the small things that we do, feel or see. She also came to the conclusion that there is no sense into doing things that will satisfy the ones that lives around and not yourself. There is no meaning in compromising in a relationship that doesn’t fulfill you and you just stay because of the force of habit, and the fear that you should stay alone. The meaning of this life that we all live in, is hidden in our daily lives and in the seeking of true love.

 

Nikoleta Vemvetsou

Nikoleta Vemvetsou is 19 years old and she is currently studying History & Archaeology in the University of Ioannina, which was a childhood’s dream as she recalls. She writes articles on various topics including history, arcaeology, literature, poetry and more, in many blogs, newspapers and magazines as well as her own poetry. She is the co-founder of Literatology and also a co-chief editor of the Literatology team.
Nikoleta Vemvetsou is 19 years old and she is currently studying History & Archaeology in the University of Ioannina, which was a childhood’s dream as she recalls. She writes articles on various topics including history, arcaeology, literature, poetry and more, in many blogs, newspapers and magazines as well as her own poetry. She is the co-founder of Literatology and also a co-chief editor of the Literatology team.

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